Handover

I can no longer hold onto
these reins that bruise my palms,
hurt my arms.
So I let it slide away
and await the sound of the crash.

The ton of emotions
weighs down on my chest.
Subdued sounds of bump-bump
can barely be heard.
So I stand upright
and await the impending relief.

My eyes can no longer
see the horizon beyond this 
pile of words
all stacked up so unevenly.
One swing of my arms
and they scatter all over

I now wait for you,
to gather up this burden
I've carried this too far too long now.

Distance

I dreamed of whispering in your ear, 

Words so sweet yet clear,

To calm down your urge to fearlessly hold my wrist and take me from the crowd.

Take me to a place where no one would notice,

Cos what you had in mind to do to me

Would gain a lingered stare from the most insane of people.

But my lips so close in your ear would not help

They did more damage than I'd expected

The warmth emanating from your slender beautiful neck wouldn't help me be practical either,

as I should be in the middle of a chaotic street.

Oh the sweet pleasures of being away from you

Just to want you more 

Take me

You look into my eyes
As if you see right through me
Deep inside where I am numb
It makes me feel so naked
So powerless in your arms

Take me away from here
To an island blue and green
Breathe into me, make my blood warm
like I know you can
Been frozen all this while
without your touch

Feel like I have waited for this moment
A thousand years gone by
No other touch can feel this way
No other kiss can wet these lips right

Timeless beauty
This could last forever.
Twirl me around in circles
On this moonless night
And watch me get dizzier in your trance
This moment wont pass soon
Take me now…

Spring is here... and

the blooming flowers

give out an eerie smell that is divine

to the strangers around us,

yet you don’t even notice it.

I wanna be your companion

and hold your hand,

laughing at the simpleton across the street,

who is trying to walk straight

under the million shopping bags his wife has thrust him with.

I want to share nights with you,

that are not finished by the dark.

I want you in the club,

watching me for the first 20 minutes,

dance alone, looking like I’ve shot up,

while you wait to get drunk enough

to pull me close and not feel the crowd.

As I pen my deepest thoughts,

and while my heartaches bleed out onto the paper,

I want you to watch me light up your last cigarette,

breaking free with the smoke I let out.

I want to smile as you smile,

Giggle with you at nothing at all,

looking inanely stupid doing it.

Make me your lover.

I wanna find the passions

that move you to action

out of your couch into my arms.

I wanna be the naughty

that urges you to come back for more,

and forget the snooker game on the telly.

I want to make you English breakfast,

and hear you complain about how you hate it,

while you finish your last bite.

I would watch you teaching me how to make dinner,

and later fight for the last morsel on the plate.

I want to struggle in the shower,

argue for cold against hot,

Cos I love the sound you make when you shiver.

In the middle of the night,

I want to pull the blanket off you

Just so that you come close,

and cling onto me.

I wanna wake in the morning

and smile while I watch you pull out

all your clothes from the closet,

searching for the perfect match.

I love how you’re always up before me.

I want everyday to be the weekend

where I can lie on the couch

while you lay your head on my chest

and hold my hands to keep me

from changing the channel.

It’s not secret I have kept from you.

Very simply put,

in all your entirety,

your flaws, your anger,

your never ending temper.

I want you.

-Al

Another open door

The pain was too much to bear, she gave up and sat on the floor. Once again, her big red suitcase was being filled with the clothes and things that would fit that space.

Another move.

She should’ve gotten used to this by now, you would think. She sat against the door and let her tears flow free for just a few minutes. They wouldn’t appreciate her locking the door. Nor would they like seeing her cry. It would simply seem like she was being ungrateful because they did all they could to make her smile all these months.

She sat there remembering how, not so many years back, she had fought with her mom about how unfair it was that she couldn’t have her own room. Today, she would give anything to stop living out of this suitcase. What she wouldn’t give for some decent shelf space that lasted more than a month.

Her family has been split, by fate, into so many parts and so far away. She is too young for this. Yet no one seems to notice her need for the love she is missing out on. 23 is a rude age to be without your family to stand behind you and tell you that it’s all gonna be okay. How will she ever make it? Why should she believe that life gets better and that every Xmas is not going to be so cold? Why should she believe in forever, in love, in family?

She wipes away her tears and pulls herself up. Gets the last of her things and neatly stacks them in the bag. Looks in a mirror and sees a child who just grew up too soon. She rummages through her bag and finds her make-up. Puts on a fresh new layer to cover the bags under her eyes. Switches on her podette, plugs it in and listens to “Mustang Sally”. With a smile on her face she walks out yet another door.