Saturday, May 7, 2011

Justifying it in your head

So it feels mixed.

You are relieved that you no longer need to prove ur location, reason for being there, reason for no prior notice of going there, justification of why the other people wanted you to be there..

You are calm, cos suddenly missing a call isn't going to send you to hell, leaving ur phone on the desk plugged in to get charged isn't a crime and you don't need to practice ur reason for receiving a late night call..

You are lost cos you don't know what to do with ur weekend cos ur friends are so used to you nt being around that they don't even consider planning it with you..

You are scared cos ur not sure who to go to the movies with. You can't ignore the constant feeling of running out of time cos you have very little to find someone new..

You are empty cos you don't know who will hold you when you cry. You don't know who you will call to pour out ur heart to. You don't know what to do with a long weekend.

You avoid.. Ur iPod cos every song hurts. Places, people, thinking, conversations, the mirror, sleep, mornings, nights, food, the clock, facebook, anything red, anything blue, anything white, life...

You search.. For a place to go cos you constantly want to be alone, for a thing to do so you stay occupied and don't think about memories, for reasons to stay back in office, for reasons why leaving him wasn't a bad idea..

But all you will hear on the outside is everyone tell you that you need to give it time..
And everything just justifies why its called a Break-up