Men

After my well read (or so I think) post about women, it’s now come to this. Last night I was talking to my closest mate and we went on from talking about her man, my man and then just MEN! We spent four hours going over the same things that we have been doing all the 10 years of our friendship. She said something that made me laugh for hours after she hung up. She made a comparison of men that I had never heard before. “Men are like the robots in the movies. They are created to serve a purpose. Everyone is happy in the beginning of the film with how much easier life becomes. But it always ends the same way. The robots get over-smart and think they know more than their creators. And suddenly they are on a spree of trying to take over the world!”

As true as that is, I really think we should have the kind of happy endings that those films have, where the robots are killed and life suddenly becomes more peaceful. Ha ha, I’m not a man hater, I actually love observing them. Isn’t it odd how men function? Its always brought to light how women are complicated, but what about how men manage to screw things up? Ever noticed how, you want them to know something and move to action about certain matters, and they don’t? Well, they usually don’t do what you expect them to. My rule is, don’t expect! Then again, I stopped following rules since I was 2. But I do have a few things I have learnt in the past few years.

Its true that the Knight in shining armor is in reality, almost always, a retard in tin foil. He will look so good from far away and once he is near by, you will soon realize the old saying, “All that glitters is not gold” was actually written for that one species only!

I still am amazed at how well they can switch off and on within seconds. They will pick up only what they want to hear! So if you are complaining about how he isn’t helping at home at all, add in something about football, porn or his mother. It works!

I laughed when someone told me the other day 'if you love them you want them to be happy, you would do anything!' Men never think that way. On their priority list is them on the top and there is a big “full-stop” after that. The harder you try to get on that list, the more he is going to keep you away. Period. So like they say about butterflies, ignore them long enough and they will come chasing you, start giving a damn and see how much it helps!

In the end the best way to handle the species is occasionally feeding their egos, often giving them a kick in the a** in unconventional ways, being manipulative without feeling guilty and every time he pisses you off, punch him.

I really think the rant has gone on long enough and I really don’t want to seem like I can survive without them. Cos more than I want to, I believe that the argument always goes in a circular motion to end at the same note. You cant live with them and you really can’t swing the other way. Even in a lesbian relationship, there’s one who wears the pants, right?