Love?

I stare at their faces,
Across the dining table...
I wonder if they know how I feel
If they understand how much it means
For me to know that they love me.
I pick up a tissue, reach out for her face
Need to wipe the little mustard off her chin
And she smacks my hand…
“What the hell are you doing?
Mind your own business!”
Oh, she doesn’t like that…
“I’m sorry darling”
I smile at her sister,
She rolls her eyes at me…

I’m scanning pictures
Of when they were asleep in my arms
Cuddling beside me to stay warm
I wonder where that love is gone…
Wonder if I lost it through my own actions
I sneak into their room…
Get under her blanket
And play with her hair
I kiss her forehead and hold her tight…
She stirs a bit and hugs me back
I whisper “I love you baby”
And I kiss her again
I climb up to the higher bunker
And look at the other one
Touch her cheeks and kiss them…
Why cant I do this when they are in front of me
Why do they hate me so much
Why do they not see how much I love them
Why do they dislike my touch

I wish I could yell at them and tell them I love them
I wish I could win their respect
I wish they could love me
I wish they could love me
I wish they could love me
My little twin beauties

- December 2007 -